Anxiety. I live with this and it’s much more than a buzzword. Many people know the discomforts of the dreaded anxiety flare ups. When it rears it’s ugly head for what seems like no reason. Other times it’s like a crooked finger pointing out each perceived flaw, fear, and fault. Anxiety. It’s more than that though, for those who don’t live with it, let me break it down for you. It’s waking up and instantly being flooded with thoughts and feelings that can’t be turned off. It’s replaying over and over and over again the endless scenarios of what could happen and what could be said. Other times it’s just a little reminder to triple check if I turned the stove off before leaving home. Anxiety, it’s my best friend and my worst enemy.
Many people live with Anxiety and we all have different manifestations of it. Recently I’ve developed a new relationship with my anxiety, one that isn’t just based on surviving panic attacks. I’ve started to take a deep look at where these difficult emotions stem from. I keep a journal with me and I collect data. Just simply noticing what has set me off, what emotions I have, and the why. With this I discovered how to use my anxiety to help me rather than hurt me. I listened to my anxiety rather than trying to shut it up. Whether it be primal like food and water or more delicate like insecurities and fears; I listen. Each time I listen in, I learn a little bit more about myself and what I need more of or less of. It’s the truest form of self care I’ve ever discovered.
I’ve learned to honor what brings me happiness in life. Like the real soul laughter kinda goodness that leaves me on cloud 9. I no longer feel I have to endure things that make me unhappy.
Whether you live with Anxiety or not, take this bit advice with you. You are enough and you do not have to please everyone else. This doesn’t mean you stop being kind and helping others, it means taking time to build up who you are just as much as others. Investing in yourself by getting rid of the unpleasing ideas you’ve told yourself about success and failure. Listening in, tuning in to yourself and the bigger picture. Each emotion has a connection and it is there to tell you something. So put in the hard soul work and listen to what those emotions are trying to teach you. Use a journal or your phone to keep track of the information you gather. Then dive in, it’s going to be uncomfortable but it may also be entirely worth it. Rise above those insecurities and fears that are holding you back. You have big things to accomplish.